Culture Clash: Immigrant Muslims Raising Children in the West – Yasir Qadhi, Mohamed Magid and Abdul Rafaa Ouertani

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1) Introduction: I Can Relate to What You’re Going Through
2) No One Can Ever Love You More Than Your Parents
3) Your Parents Will Always Have More Experience Than You
4) Don’t Dismiss Your Parents Because They’re Not ‘Cool’
5) Your Parents Will Never Stop Being Parents to You
6) You Will Be Even More Strict With Your Own Children
7) Parents: Provide An Atmosphere of Love and Comfort
8) Parents: Sometimes You’re Not Best to Give Advice
9) Parents: Treat Your Children With Respect/Maturity
10) Parents: Don’t Expect Your Kids to Retain Your Culture
11) Youth and Parents: Make Dua For Each Other
12) Defining ‘Generation’
13) Some Issues Contributing to the Generation Gap
14) The Right Perspective: Our Children Complete Us
15) Muslim Youth: Beware of Arrogance
16) Muslim Parents: Allow Your Children to Think For Themselves
17) Focus on the Outcome / Parents and Youth Must Be Involved in Decision-Making
18) The Contradiction Between What Parents Say and What They Do
19) Prepare Your Children For a Time That is Not Your Time / Open Communication and Trust
20) Don’t Focus So Much on the Difference in Languages
21) Allah Will Ask Us About How We Raised Our Children
22) Our Children Are the Future Leaders of the Ummah
23) This Problem Involves Both Old and Young
24) How to Raise Our Children? Look at the Prophet (P) and the Sahabah
25) We Must Have Love and Care For Our Children
26) We Must Have Knowledge
27) Parents and Elders Must Treat Children as Their Friends
28) A Major Conflict: Marriage Now or Later?
29) Decrease TV Time, Increase Personal Time
30) Develop Bonds With Your Children By ‘Chillin’ With Them
31) Reward Your Children With ‘Halal’ Bribes
32) We Can Learn From American Non-Muslims Too!
33) Confess to the Same Sins to Help Prevent Kids From Them?
34) Many Parents Are in Denial of Reality
35) What Environment Are You Placing Your Children In?
36) Children Must Be Aware That a Little Knowledge Can Lead to Arrogance
37) Humility and Etiquette Are Part of Knowledge
38) Some Parents Don’t Want Their Children to Be Religious
39) The Prophet (P) Was Sent to Teach the Book, Wisdom and Purification
40) Teens and Pre-Teens Need Trust and Friendship From Their Parents
41) The Masjid Needs to Be Welcoming to Children and Their Mothers!
42) We Must Teach Our Children the Etiquette of the Masjid

Second-generation Muslims in America or Europe: do you appreciate and respect the views and experiences of your parents? Do you realize that they have your best interests in mind? Immigrant Muslim parents struggling to raise children in the West: did you really expect your children to retain the culture of your homeland? Are you trying your best to understand their culture and to provide an atmosphere of love and comfort, as opposed to criticism and disdain? In many cases we find the answers to these questions in the negative and the unfortunate result is a clash that pits family members against one another in a deeply emotional struggle over identities, priorities and cultures. Is this dilemma unsolvable, or are there concrete steps that elder immigrants and indigenous youth can take to help narrow the gap between them? Join in this panel discussion and learn very practical ways to address the matter from both perspectives. Some of the issues discussed: the parents’ unique love for their own children, making dua for one another as a means for increasing the love, reflecting on the struggles of parenthood, allowing children to be free-thinkers, realizing that parents may not always be the best advice-givers, arrogance before the elders, open communication and trust, the problem of emphasizing culture over religion, the example of Prophet Muhammad (P), the priority of marriage over schooling, parents as friends, and women and children in the masjid. (Duration: 1 hour, 58 min)